Five on Friday - I'm back!

TGIF! I am sure looking forward to the weekend. This is the last weekend where we don't have a single thing planned for a while. Let's dive right in to my FIVE.

ONE. 

Source

Chris got me a hot stone massage for Valentine's day and I think I just might redeem it this weekend. I am beyond excited.

TWO.



I'm currently in the process of starting a supper club with some girlfriends, in an effort to take back girls' night! I'm very excited about our monthly get-togethers and can't wait to spend time with old and new friends.

THREE.

This weather! We had an 85 degree day yesterday and spent our evening on the backyard play set. I would certainly not hate it if winter made an early exit. This is the life.

FOUR.



This is about 1/6th of the clothing I purchased for the kids this week (insert embarrassed emoji). Kohls had a STELLAR sale with 20% off all baby and kids and it was stackable with a 30% coupon code AND free shipping. I earned Kohls cash with my first order and went back for more. We were in need though - Luke is outgrowing his 3 month clothes already (?!?!) and Zoey is moving into 3T for spring and summer. By the way, shopping for boys is HARD. I am just not a fan of all the sports, construction, monster, etc. stuff out there. Where do all my boy moms find appropriate little gentleman clothes?

FIVE.



My amazing Stitch Fix stylist, Jamie, nailed it again. She sent these crazy hot jeans and I fell in love. Sadly they were just a little too small and they didn't have the next size up available. I'm still looking for a good distressed pair for weekends, but I bought this pair from Old Navy for $25 with 35% off. They're now 40% off with code MIDWEEK. They arrive today and I'm anxiously awaiting them - I hope they look half as good as these babies did. I also bought an off the shoulder top for $13. I loved this trend in college (10 years ago, ah!) and I'm hopeful I can still pull it off!

Linking up with some lovely ladies - check out their blogs below and have a fantastic weekend!

The First Six Weeks

When I got pregnant with Luke, I thought to myself, "people always say you forget things about your first so you'll have another. Your mind protects you for the benefit of the future. Well, I remember everything - I loved being pregnant and giving birth was hard, but magical. This'll be easy the second time around.". 



When it came to the pregnancy and birth, it was all as I remembered. That first night home from the hospital though, it hit me - the newborn phase. What I didn't know I'd forgotten (I sound like Professor from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse....), was the newborn phase - THIS is what people meant when they say you'll forget. Banished to some dark place in my mind, the newborn phase, where newborns are basically still a fetus for the next 3 months, the fourth trimester. It's the waking up every 2-3 hours at night, crying, endless diapers, spit up, blow outs, no smiling, no babbling, just taking everything you have. It's such a short time and so very worth it, but my goodness that part sucks. Amplified further by having a toddler who, no matter how YOU slept last night, is going to wake up between 6 and 6:30 am (or earlier). 



This was my first adjustment to life with two - I can't just go to sleep until Luke wakes once I've finally gotten him down at 5 am after 2 hours of pacing the house. My sweet girl will be up in less than an hour and her "tummy will be hungry."

The second adjustment  - I can't just be Zoey's mommy, I'm shared now. Before Luke came along, Zoey ran the show. When she was home with us, we played, we shopped, we went to the park, etc. Having Luke right after the most epic Christmas ever, made the adjustment a little harder for her and me too. 












We can no longer drop everything and jump in the car to go shopping or to the park. I'm not always available to climb in her teepee and play now that a small barnacle is attached to me 24/7. 

While celebrating this amazing addition and completion of our family, I also have had to mourn the loss of our family of three and the routine we had down to a science. This is our new normal for now - divide and conquer, man coverage. 


*Photographic evidence of why we don't eat out

Things have already started to even out, and as Luke gets bigger, the fun really begins. Until then, I'm walking a fine line of nurturing and bonding with my baby boy and continuing to try to foster the beautiful relationship I have with my daughter.





The third Adjustment, a doozy - It hit several weeks in to our new normal. We chose to keep Zoey in school during my maternity leave so that her world wouldn't be completely rocked. This afforded me some time to bond with Luke during the week too. It was a very good decision for all. That being said, the fact that we house a walking Petri dish is amplified by the fact that she hangs out with 12 other Petri dishes, 5 days a week AND sucks her fingers. Without a doubt, she caught strep within weeks of bringing Luke home and it manifested as a rash on her face (due to the finger sucking) and a cough. Scary when she is in "baby brother's" face 100% of the time she's at home and awake.



It is so hard when the tiny human you love SO much is sick and could possibly infect the other tiny little human you love SO much. Luckily, we did survive this round. Luke is unscathed and Chris and I were easily cured - thank goodness for teledoc.



There are so many other adjustments we'll have to make, as Luke continues to grow and develop and our new family routine takes shape. Teaching Zoey the fine line between loving and smothering baby. Keeping Luke, with no sleep schedule, from waking the (finally) sleeping toddler (did not see that one coming - I always thought it was the toddler who would wake the baby). I'm growing and developing as a mom too.

Everyone's experience is different and everyone's mom guilt manifests differently - my heart did not magically and exponentially expand as soon as my second child exited the womb (as so many bloggers and people on facebook claim happened to them). I am beyond joyful that we have a son and he's healthy and safe. He was wanted, prayed for, and loved from the moment I knew I was carrying him, but that love took time to grow deep roots in my heart. I had to get to know him. I had to teach my heart and my mind how to love two tiny humans fiercely at the same time and I'm still learning. It is HARD. Zoey had 2.5 years of my undivided attention and we rocked her world with baby brother. Luke will never have his parents all to himself and that's hard too.



We knew it would be hard to adjust logistically, but these emotional adjustments caught me off guard. Why did no one prepare me for this? Why do people "lie" and say it "feels like they've always been a family of four", "your heart exponentially expands immediately", they can't remember a time before their second or third"? 

7 weeks in to this new and crazy life, I know it's because luckily, our mind is beautiful and it forgets these rough first weeks and lets us simply remember the magic and love of bringing a baby into this world. I know I'll forget the days when Luke kept us up all night and Zoey woke up at 5:45 am - living out our Saturday counting down to bedtime and just thankful we all survived the day. 



This chaos that is parenting with a toddler and a newborn - I'll only remember the fierce love for my beautiful children, the look on Zoey's face as she met her very own baby brother, the care and adoration she has for him, the first time he smiled at her, the hugs, the laughter, the playing. So I'm writing this now, while I'm in the thick of it, for me and those of you in the throes of the newborn phase (or those of you watching us and thinking you'll never have a kid or another kid). The days are long, but the months and years are so short. I love the chaos of two and I'm glad my heart knows loving two babies.



I'm also so stinking lucky to do this life with Chris. He is THE MOST AMAZING husband and father of all time, but that's an entire blog post in and of itself.

Mindful Monday - Let's Catch Up

Quick post to let you know that I'm still alive. I hope to rejoin the blogging world consistently soon - I have so much I feel like sharing with you and not enough time. I've actually had to start keeping a list when topics come to mind. Hopefully, I can start knocking them out now that we are sleeping nice stretches at night. (hallelujah!)

On December 31, 2016 - Our little man decided to make his appearance just 3 days shy of his due date. My labor (one blog topic) was extremely short compared to my 72 hours with {Zoey}. Just a little over 12 hours of labor and we got to meet our son, Luke Christopher, weighing a whopping 8 pounds 9 ounces!! 24 hours later, we were given the all clear to go home early and took our sweet boy home to meet his PROUD big sister.

My heart explodes every time I look at these pictures.

Since then it's been a whirlwind month of very little sleep and trying to keep everyone healthy (Chris and Zoey went down with colds - you try telling a 2 1/2 year old they can't kiss their brand new baby brother or touch them with their saliva drenched hands). Just when I was feeling like I had this mommy thing down....having two kids just rocked my world (another blog topic). We are a month in and I'm starting to feel like it's going to be okay though. I wouldn't change anything for the world, but it hasn't been easy and I just felt a little lied to when people told me it was "like they'd always been a family of four from the start" and "their heart immediately expanded exponentially", etc.

This boy though, he is everything. We just have the two very best kids in the world and our family is most definitely complete now. 

PS. Shout out to my {Stitch Fix} stylist, Jamie! She's been making me feel human with a couple postpartum fixes (another blog topic). I had the best maternity fixes with her too - she's awesome.

For now, I'm going to resume cuddling my baby boy and binge watching all the Netflix (another blog topic). Talk soon. xx